You Can't Make Me Angry

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today." You may already know of Dr. Paul's simple yet profound wisdom in the frequently quoted passage from his story in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Dr. Paul continues sharing his experience, strength and hope in this, his second book, "You Can't Make Me Angry":

By the time you put this book down, you will be convinced that people and circumstances don't make us angry; we make ourselves angry. People can't make us angry--unless we let them. We alone are responsible for our feelings.

A measure of the effectiveness of communication is the result it produces. If you don't like the results you are getting when communicating with another person, there's a great deal you can do about it. I'm not willing to let any thing or any person put my physical sobriety at risk; why should I put less value on my emotional sobriety?

For physical sobriety, we had to give up drinking, and for emotional sobriety, we have to give up blaming others. No longer can we say, "You made me angry!" Instead, we must accept personal responsibility for our emotional state.

This much responsibility may seem extreme, yet in fact it is a great freedom. Henceforth, no person or situation can upset us if we don't give them or it permission to do so. What could be a greater freedom than that?

Emotional maturity is like serenity. The first time I felt serene, I wondered what was happening, but I liked the feeling and wanted more. The more I got, the more I wanted. Serenity is addictive.