The Family Enablers

The purpose of this booklet is to help those close to an alcoholic address these problems by letting them in on some very important insights into the alcoholism process in families.

This is the first insight: there's a subtle and specific way in which alcoholism can involve the nonalcoholic. For an alcoholic to continue drinking, nonalcoholics must be unwittingly involved in enabling (that is, encouraging) the alcoholic's drinking. Applied to families, this is sadly ironic. The second insight is this: those close to an alcoholic are inclined to develop behavior and/or emotional problems of their own as they attempt to make adjustments to the alcoholics progressive disease of alcoholism. They can become so caught up in the alcoholism system that they find it almost impossible to let go of the merry-go-round without some outside help.

Those who are closest to an alcoholic, most concerned about that person, and most hopeful that the alcoholic will stop drinking often unwittingly play into the alcoholic's progressive drinking pattern. By their actions, the alcoholic can be enabled to drink more comfortably, and family members and friends become drawn into and affected by the very problem they'd like to prevent.
from The Family Enablers